Paul
Added: 20:03 19th.May.2005


Hello everyone;
I have corresponded with many F.S.U. ladies and have become adept at spotting a scammer. MY question is how can you discern if the lady you want to marry loves you or only wants to stay married until she gets permanent residency. I know of no way you can truly understand a ladies intentions. Also The f.s.u. has the world's highest divorce rates and the effect of communism and atheism I'm afraid may have affected people's traditional view of marriage as a lifetime partnership and into a more disposable view of marriage for financial gain...
Of course the same could be said about the U.S.A...I would appreciate anyone's help on this particularly Veronoka...Thank you all!!!

A commentary by: Gary N
Added: 20:22 20th.May.2005


Paul,
I guess this scenario isn't that different than wondering if a woman in the U.S. is interested in you or your money. The best answer I can give is that I have never once thought for a second that my future wife could possibly be one of "those". If you are asking a hypothetical question, my answer would be that if you are with the right woman this will not even come to mind. Now, if this is a question regarding someone you are already seeing, you may want to take a closer look at your situation. If things are what they should be, this concern would not exist. Good luck.

A commentary by: Veronika
Added: 11:34 23rd.May.2005


Hi, Paul,

I wish I or anybody else can give you a direct answer to the question how to recognize a fraud. Unfortunately, there is no check list that you can use to recognize it. And there are women, who are interested in just money or living in US. Though I think it would be stupid for them to think that living in USA will solve their problems. First of all, employment is very difficult for them due to lack of language skills and qualifications (for example, who needs lawyer in USA with the knowledge of Ukrainian laws). But Paul, you have 90 days after you bring a lady home to decide to marry her or not. And she has 90 days to realize that may be America is not what she thought it would be. Other than that, I probably would see if a lady traveled abroad or just stayed in her little town all her life. People who travel have more realistic view of the world. Also, if she was involved in previous marriage and got burned once, she probably would be less willing to jump into risky scam. And nothing against young ladies, but I truly believe that if somebody wants to get married at 18-19, it's not serious. You have to know yourself and what you want from relationship before you find one that is for you. People in this age still want to party, spend money and get wild.
Also, I would agree with Gary that if you find the right one, you know. I never believed in that but it did happened to me and my husband. Trust your hunch. If there is something wrong at the very beginnig it will not go away with time. Pay attention to details, ask questions. Ask her to take you to her favorite place instead of you taking her out every night. Also, I would be careful about the person who criticize her country so much. We all can complain about government, but we still love the place we were born and raised. I joined petition during this year President elections.

Anonymous
Added: 14:40 21st.May.2005

Paul,
First of all what is a Green Card today in USA. Is this a bad job or Unemployment in the USA. You do not know what anyone intentions are for certain. Some are good and ligament some are not good and ligament. You see, for the ladies they have much to gain, no cost and the hope of meeting someone good and generous. For you however it is different? You must travel to Ukraine or whenever to meet and pay for these services. It is not a wonder that we so many men pretending to be wealthy and many women pre tending to be looking for love . Men do not be stupid, if you do you will be taken advantage of by the women or the agency. Be your own man, and do not trust all agencies. Good woman in USA would mean good woman in Russia or Ukraine. Trust me as I do have 2 adult daughters, who I love very much. If you have questions write to me and I will explain more to

Paul:
I have had the same or similar concerns as you voice. Both Americans and Ukrainians in my home city in the US have warmed me over and over again about all the "bad" Ukrainian women who are out to get everyone. I have met and dated many women over the years here in the US. I have also known many, many women who I have not had relationships with. I can tell you this for sure. When it comes to a women's ability to be truly evil, a Ukrainian women cannot come close to am American women. Yes, a Ukrainian women may use a man just to come to the US. Then she can leave you. And yes, it can be heart breaking. But consider the alternative. Try an American women. They can not only leave you, but they can take everything you own, and make life a living hell for many years to come. If you have children with that women, she can use the legal system in a sophisticated and manipulative way to even try to keep your children from you, even if you are a totally law abiding, child support paying citizen. This is common. Ask a lot of American men out there.

Now I ask you this. Go ask around. Try to find how many Ukrainian women here in the US or back in Ukraine take a man's home, his money, his children, and sue him, etc.......

I live in a community of 100,000 Slavic people. So far I have not been able to find one truly vicious Ukrainian women. Yes, there are a few bitches out there, but that is just real life.

These Ukrainian women are not trained emotionally from a young age to hate men and go for the throat. So think about that. Compare. A women who may use you to get here and then leave vs. a women who will use the legal system for years and years to try to make your life miserable. I would chose the women who would just leave me any day of the week.

Go to the Ukraine and speak with the police, politicians, women, men, Brett, and everyone....What happens in Ukraine if a women calls the police and says my husband hit me and I feel pain inside (even though there are no injuries, blood, bruises, cuts, etc.). The answer is nothing happens. The police probably laugh. In the US, however, it is a mandatory arrest (CA law). Mandatory felony arrest for no injuries and no evidence.

In the California public schools it is sexual harassment if a 5 year old boy holds hands with a 5 year old girl. But if the girl initiates the contact, the officials look the other way. So American girls and boys are taught perversion and a double standard from an early age. This leads to laws and issues as cited above.

If you are worried about divorce here is something to think about. The divorce rate amongst Ukrainian Christians (Baptist and Pentecostals) is only about 1% - 3%. Maybe less. The divorce rate amongst the same group on the American side is about 50+%. The divorce rate amongst non-religious Ukrainians in Ukraine is just about as high. So go find some religious girl in Ukraine - maybe even one from a small town. Just an idea - one way to have statistics on your side.

So, there are some ideas to kick around.

Good luck!

-Dave